rEtr0gRAdE

I’m a skeptic. Who’s also very spiritual. A cynic. Who still wants to see the best in people, sometimes to my own detriment. A contradiction of characteristics if ever there was one.

But you know what. So is everyone else. Those who claim to be one thing, and turn out to be quite another. Those who peel back the layers of their personalities the longer you’re privileged to know them, only to reveal true colors when they think no one’s watching. Thing is, those who care, are always paying attention.

And what does all that mean? We’re all f*cked up in our own ways. Trying to navigate our respective journeys the best way we know how. Far from flawlessly. Often with disastrous consequences, and a path littered with regrets. Doesn’t mean our intentions weren’t pure. Doesn’t mean we can’t rally and do better next time.

Assuming there is a next time. A second chance. Or a third or fourth, or whatever number we’re up to in this life. As long as there’s a new day dawning in our little world, there’s a chance.

It’s really just a matter of deciding what it is that you want. And going after it. Taking matters into your own hands. Letting go of those you can no longer control. And the wisdom to know the difference . . . right, that. The most difficult part.

Back to that skeptical/spiritual dichotomy. What’s a write-off, and what’s worth keeping the faith in? Depends on the day. The mood of the moment. The planets, the stars, the alignment of who knows what. It’s a vibe. A gut feeling. An inexact science.

Today, it’s something that I want to feel hopeful about. Simply because there have been too many days lately left feeling hopeless. Til tomorrow, when the daylight flashes forward, and with it our hopes and dreams for the future. And then it’s anyone’s guess.

But that’s all we can do. Put in the work. Have pure intentions. And hope it pans out. Over and over again. Until it does.